Dear Gustav,
We have all been anxiously (literally on pins and needles) awaiting your arrival. We expect to see you coming from the coast, where it is said you weren’t so warmly received by the Cuban hostages as to would have liked… I do not regret to inform you, however, that you will receive almost no welcome at all when you come to visit our lovely state. In fact, New Orleans is quite afraid of you, and feels you may have the same disposition as your now dead cousin, Katrina. There will be no welcoming committee at their gates. Your punishment to the Cubans precedes you.
Please, we beg you not to stay long, as we have no need of the services you offer.
Anticipating your wrath,
dominique
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