It's so still outside

Dear Gustav,

We have all been anxiously  (literally on pins and needles) awaiting your arrival. We expect to see you coming from the coast, where it is said you weren’t so warmly received by the Cuban hostages as to would have liked… I do not regret to inform you, however, that you will receive almost no welcome at all when you come to visit our lovely state. In fact, New Orleans is quite afraid of you, and feels you may have the same disposition as your now dead cousin, Katrina. There will be no welcoming committee at their gates. Your punishment to the Cubans precedes you.  

Please, we beg you not to stay long, as we have no need of the services you offer. 

 

Anticipating your wrath,

dominique

"A very happy un-birthday...."

I should be studying right now, but I'm not :)

today has been strange. It started off good, then i had that one 3 hour class, and I just got so bored. My professor is a good one, and I enjoy the class... but no one should have to sit through a 3 hour class twice a week. I have a test n this class on Thursday (my professor just told us today). Then I went to work... that wasn't bad, then I came home just worn out, but some of my friends wanted to have an un-birthday dinner. So, I went kinda worn out, but I had a great time. I have been letting myself assume things about a certain friend of mine. It was wrong of me, and I don't feel that what I have been assuming is completely true now. It was fun being with my good girl-friends again. Assumptions can get you into trouble... and usually only cause unnecessary grief on the part of the assumer.

Question/thought of the day: Why do good people let the wrong people have a negative influence on them? I always seem to lose friends to people who only have negative influences on them. I can name at least 3 friends that I have lost due to this "process." It's even worse when you try and warn them, and then they act like you don't know what you are talking about, and don't heed your warnings, or the warnings of others... it's sad. It hurts me more than anything else. Especially knowing that I am powerless and can do nothing to persuade them. But, I have to realize that only God can really turn some around. I'm just a person.

B-t-w, the AT&T commercials really make me laugh... and I think it would be interesting to be a psychologist.

Hope you have a great week!

Don't give up just yet

Sam: It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.

My heart lies elsewhere... or does it?

I was talking with a friend who just got back from spending a summer in Texas at a camp. She loved it. She also was telling me how she feels so strange being here. She feels like her heart is elsewhere and she just... isn't satisfied. Like she isn't upset that she is here, but she is just almost restless because she is here. She doesn't know where her heart is, though... or if she will know anytime soon. She is about to start dating this young fellow. I personally believe they will get married... just after her telling me about him. But anyways, he has a passion for kids and missions. As does she, but not as much until this summer. She feels that if God wanted to take her from everything she knew right now, she would be ready. And it was weird listening to her, because for sometime now, I've felt restless in the same way... almost like the place I'm in is just not enough anymore, and there is something greater just waiting for me in another place. And hearing her heart, and what is going on inside of her, I felt almost reassured. And if you know me, you know this is just...erm... abnormal. I am such a homebody. A few years ago, i never wold have imagined myself saying this. Shoot, I don't even know if I would have worked Parkview this summer, or hangout with any of my coworkers, etc. I never liked doing things by myself, but I have been lately. I am now wondering if God is preparing my heart for something now? Maybe so... then again, maybe not. Maybe he just wants me to experience new things outside of my bubble, and to try and relate to people more... rather than just nodding my head and trying to relate to something they have to say.

So, here I am, God. I'm waiting (in more ways than one) to see what your plans are... and trying not to make my plans Yours.

"Looks like rain."- Ever After

I just ran into someone else I didn't know was coming back to BRCC. His name is Rhett. He got in a really bad car accident just before finals last semester (I think the guy that ht him was drunk or something), and so things just got really messed up. I just saw him though, and although we aren't good friends, it was like seeing someone I haven't seen for years. It was cool. He was telling me about this stuff he's being doing and all. 

Anyways, today is my second day back... my alarm actually worked this morning :) I had Intro to Folklore this morning. My professor for that class is highly odd... but in a neat way. She wanted us to introduce ourselves, give a nickname we go by (that she can call us) then tell us something weird about ourselves. She had two weird things. One: she redecorates her house twice a year. Pretty much uses the same stuff, just switches the colors out in the spring and fall. The colors have to match the season. Then, in September, she watches the same two movies till she gets sick of them. She watches movie #1 every night for two weeks straight, then movie #2 every night for 2 weeks straight, then switches back and forth between them every night until se gets tired of them and then proceeds to put them away until next September. Odd? Well, we are all odd in some way... but this just sheds a whole new light on the subject in my eyes. :) She likes LOTR and owns an Arwen necklace and Galadriel ring. I think it will be a fun class. All of my 11 classmates seemed interesting and artistic. Hopefully this will get me writing less...erm... sad things again. We'll see.

Then, I had my 2 hour and 45 minute long psychology class (only 7 weeks long). They changed my professor like 2 weeks ago... but they didn't let me know this. I was expecting a lady... not what I entered class seeing. My professor seems like a guy who has a little grandson that loves trains. I could see him dressed in a conductors hat, overalls, and a little red kerchief hanging out of his front pocket. But, he isn't a softy. He seems like a very nice guy and knows what he is talking about... also gets respect from his class, but I'm sure he is a really sweet grandfather.

I won't tell you about my math professor because I am not hoping to stay in his class long. I picked this particular class so that I could have this professor, but then they changed the professor over the summer :(

Anyways, that is about it for today. I think Emily came back today, and we have a leaders meeting tomorrow, so I think Ill et to see her. I also have to buy a watch for classes. It's easier than taking my cell out of my back-pack to check the time.  Umbrella would be nice too... hat way I won't be drenched when I reach my car like I did today :) I like rain, though. It a nice reminder of God's love and pureness raining down. Hope you had a great day, though!

"Happy trails to you, until we meet again"

First day of classes. My summer official ended at 10 a.m. this morning (10 am... isn't it glorious?) It started off kinda funny... 

Ok, so as I was typing, I heard someone say "Dom?" through my earphones. Josh Gill goes to BRCC, too! 

Anyways, back to how my day started... not that you care :) I set an alarm on my phone for 8:45 (Had to be on campus for 10) Well, I woke up, and I could tell it was early, and because of my extreme faith (not really) in technology, I trusted my cell phone to wake me up at the appropriate time... so I went back to sleep. Well, when I woke again, I was debating whether or not I should open my eyes and check the time... I decided against it. then, something told me to check... just in case my phone was being silly. Well, what do you know! It's 8:55. God is good. He def. woke me up this morning. So, I had a sweet text from Lauren wishing me a good first day, then I got ready and headed out. And, My mom was even awake when I left! yay! I like to have someone awake when I go to leave for school. I don't know why.

There are at least 8 people that I know on campus this semester. That excites me. It's about time I knew someone around here. I've already seen 5 of them this morning. I also found out that the class I thought I signed up for, I apparently didn't? I have a different professor.. and he isn't listed on ratemyprofessors.com. I'm a little worried. But, I'll be done with that class in 7 weeks. I'll just have to study a good bit. Oh, and last remedial math this semester :) yay!

I'm not going to work at Our Daily Bread this semester. I decided I want to have my Saturdays free and that the management there isn't very good. Also, who wants to make smoothies for a living? Not me. Yeah, so it took me a long time to come to the realization... but I guess you have to make mistakes for yourself  sometimes to learn things. I may not go back at all... we'll see what God has in store.

Now, to go backwards a bit, Saturday was... not my most favorite day. Lauren left for Moody early that morning, and Saturday could have also been a very significant days to me. But it wasn't. Anyways, on a better note,  I want to talk about my last night of freedom. I learned some stuff, and had a great time with some of my good friends.

First we went to play laser tag. It was Kristian, Jonah, Zack, Felix and Joey. Joey, Felix and I dominated... to put it lightly :) First game it was all of us, plus a dad and his two kids who had never played before... well, we won... but we felt kinda bad after because the little girl was just walking by her dad the whole time and they were easy targets... so we kinda just left them alone. But it was fun. Then they left and we played against each other. It was Kristian, Felix and Joey vs. Jonah, Zack and myself. I can't remember who won that one. It was fun. Then, our last game, three other people came, so we played 3 teams of three. Felix, Joey and I were insane :) We won by like 4000 points. It was a lot of fun. Those are some of my favorite guy friends. They're real. Then, on the way back home, we were debating about whether or not to go to Wal-mart to get chocolate milk (Joey's addiction). Joey said "No" right away, but then changed his mind, so we u-turned and went. 

Anyways... all that to get to this point. When we were driving back, this song came on in my car- its instrumental, and Joey just made the comment about how cool it would be if our lives had a soundtrack. When we were happy, the music would reflect that, if we were sad, it would reflect that... etc. But then I asked (or stated, more or less) If we were dating someone, would their soundtrack clash with ours, or would it blend perfectly? Would God have wired us to look for the soundtrack that matched ours in every way, and then, how would we know if that si all is was based on? And if we dated people before marriage in this alternate reality, would it just be because it sounded like our soundtracks blended for a while, or would we spend our whole lives looking for the soundtrack that matched ours, and lose focus on everything else? Would we want to be close to anyone else knowing that our true love was out there searching as well? I kinda think friendships would be obsolete. Felix said it would make things too easy... and I agree- where would be the joy in finding that person, no matter how much pain you go through to get there, you would love them all the more because of that. We wouldn't be pursued, and that would mess up the way God did everything. He is the pursuer of His bride (us)... but we would have no example of that anymore. I guess we would meet the person whose soundtrack matched ours, and then there would just be an agreement between the people sense the soundtracks blended- Hey, I think I'm supposed to marry you. Would we love them? I guess we would, but still it would be weird.

Just another attempt by me to find out why God wired us the way He did, and why love seems more like heartbreak than anything else. It was a really neat conversation, nonetheless. All three of us happen to be in the same boat (again, more or less) right now, so it's nice to talk to them. They say girls are hard to understand... where I say no, guys are.

Emily comes back tomorrow, I think. I'm excited. I've missed her so much all summer. Being with the youth leaders just doesn't feel right... it hasn't all summer. It was just an unsettling feeling. I can't wait to here all her stories. I'm kinda looking into going to Colorado for Bible College. It is a bit expensive, but it includes room and board... Mr. Tim went there and liked it a lot, so I'm just going to pray about it. It wont be till I'm done with BRCC anyways. 

One of my friends is leaving for his third year of college today. It doesn't seem like it has been that long. I hope he has an amazing semester.

drive carefully.

Jesus and the Budget- The David Ramirez Band

A church filled with people who all look the same,

clean hands, tucked in, and always shaved

they know the right things to speak

when not to smoke or drink

we’re bored here there’s no life

when there’s no where to breath

 

And when are we gonna wake up

to seize the life He died to save

abundantly holy, free as rain

 

Uh oh, where did Jesus go?

I think we lost Him somewhere down the road

and replaced Him with churches made of gold

there’s no room in the budget for the savior of the world

it costs too much to live

it costs too much to give like He did

 

Wipe your feet at the door check your bag

we don’t want any of your bruises

we don’t need your rags

we’re running a business here

our clients need to be of the best cheer

lets not offend we’ll lose the offering,

the worst they’ll never come again,

these are our words, signed: the church

 

that’s what we’re telling them (3x)

 

where did Jesus go?

Somewhere down the road

 

that’s what we’re telling them (2x)

Wrote the lyrics by ear.. so they may not be 100% accurate.  So true though.

Leavin' and Lettin' Go

It has been a strange day. 

Sometimes I wonder why God gives me these kind of days (not that I have them often). Maybe to throw me off? Most likely... I guess things would get dull if the same thing happened everyday.

Well, it started early this morning... I don't know what time it was, it was still dark outside (my guess- it was like 3:28). I just suddenly woke up and thought about my Grandpa. Not really weird, I guess.... except for my Grandpa has been dead for about 4 years. I just started thinking about him... almost as if I didn't have a choice in the matter. I could vividly see his face in my minds eye and I remembered the last time I saw him. My Grandpa used-to always wink at us when we would come over. To me, it was his way of letting us know that he loved us and was glad we came to see him. I was at youth group for UnFright Night (or version of Halloween) one year, when my dad came in and told us that we had to leave because my Grandpa was going to leave us soon. I ran out the door and got in the van. He had been in the hospital for several days, so it wasn't that unexpected, but it was still sad. I remember sitting in the waiting room and looking out the window, writing in my head. Anyways, the last time I saw him alive was that night. I went to into his room, they had him hooked up and you could tell he was struggling. I cried so hard. I can only to this day remember crying that hard and true two other times in my life. Once for joy, the other for sorrow.  He winked at me while he was laying there, though. I could have missed that wink, but I didn't. God wanted me to see that, and I believe it to this day. I wasn't all that close with my Grandpa, but I knew he loved me. I miss him. 

Anyways, I just couldn't stop thinking about him last night. And I thought about that wink, and then about a picture I had taken of him. The last picture I had of him. It was from the Christmas before (He died the next October). And then it all went away and I fell back to sleep. It was strange. Then, today I went to a friends house. She is leaving for Moody Bible Institute (Chicago) very soon, but, oddly enough, on the way to her house, I saw the friend I talked about in my last post. I hadn't seen them in a while, but I saw them. That was odd and brought about some mixed feelings. Anyways, I went to her house because she leaves on Saturday, and I wanted to spend some time with her. She wasn't home when I got there, but I talked with me her mom for a while and got to hear her heart behind her daughter leaving. She was upset, but she knows this is where God wants her daughter to be. And I couldn't agree more with her. But it is still very sad thinking about Lauren leaving and not seeing her at work all the time. Things are so quiet without her, and it's almost... abnormal. It made me sad to think about it.

To change the mood of things a bit, I left Lauren's house and went driving. I had a full tank, a new CD, and just felt like driving. I rolled my windows down, and just drove. It was nice, the hum of my car, the night bugs, and God. It was so peaceful. Then I turned my CD back on and sang Ashes and Flames by John Mark McMillan, La Vie En Rose by Louis Armstrong, When You Thought You'd Never Stand Out by Copeland, and No Air. I had it turned up just enough so that I couldn't hear myself singing :) It was nice. Just me and God and then a bunch of random songs that had no relation to each other whatsoever. This is one of my new favorite pastimes.

One of the lines in the McMillan song is: There's not a promise I'm keeping that could ever repay you.

That line speaks so much. How many times do we promise we will do something for God if He will do something for us, I mean, even if we do go through with our promises, what could we possibly have that God would want or require of us? Nothing. It is only by His strength that we can do anything.

I know I made those kind of promises when I was younger, and I'm sure I still do today, but they just don't come in the same form as "God, I promise that f you do this, I'll do this"

I'm glad that our God has some imagination when he looks at me.

Cheers to the one you cant get off your mind

Have you ever missed someone?

I do. A lot. 

I've missed people before, those childhood friends that grow up, go to a school a bit farther away, have to study more, start hanging out with other friends, go to a different church, etc. Or those that come into your life for a while and have to move because of school, a job, or they get married. But this is a different kind of situation. With this situation, I knew this person for 3 years, and they changed my life. They challenged the way I thought about everything. Especially my faith. If there is one thing I like to talk about and discuss, it's faith related questions. I like to hear what others believe about God, and what He has done in their lives. And to be challenged to think about what I believe and not just believe it.

This friend not only challenged me, though, they also had my back. Situations that no one else would stand up in, this person did. And if I would ever doubt myself, they would give me Godly wisdom, such as: Never doubt in the dark what God has promised you in the light, and that we have to have faith in our past selves... the one who made the decision to step up in the first place. This person always wanted the best for me, but not just for me, for everyone around them. They saw more than they let on, and out of love would let you know when something needed to change, and also weren't afraid to have you tell them when they needed something to be changed. They respected me more than anyone I have ever known, and that respect was returned. And this person loved God and wanted to follow His will for their life more than anyone I know. They went through with His calling when it meant leaving everything they knew and starting over in a new place. They are brave enough to try/do things I'm not willing to try or to afraid to do.  I could be around this person forever and never get tired of being with ad talking/listening to them. They are truly a blessing from heaven (like all of my friends, of course).

That person hasn't been in my life for almost a year now. I can't say it gets any easier, but I know God has a reason He does these sort of things. 

So, here is to friendships. Those who have left a mark, and those who continue to leave their mark. Those that challenge you and make you stronger. 

And, of course, to that one you can't get off your mind.