"You're guiltless and free, I hope you take a piece of me with you"

I was in a meeting today, and a local pastor came to speak to us and share tips on how to more effectively (or for people like me, how to at all), share your testimony with a child. He used an analogy that he said he uses often. He drew a picture of something that sort of looked like the Grand Canyon. We stood on one side, and God/heaven was on the other. "We" tried works and religion, etc. to try and bridge the gap between us and God, but nothing was working. He then used the verse from Romans that says "All have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God." Not a bad analogy... and not one that I haven't seen used before, but the thing that caught me, and ruined just about every word coming out of his mouth was the focus he put on us. What we could do to get Christ in our heart.

If we had no prompting/working of on our hearts by Christ, I don't think we would except Him and Who He is. I don't believe that accepting Christ is our idea in the first place. I believe it is His idea placed on our hearts (what about free will? well, we have that to... crazy cool, right?). Our "predestination", if you will. Like he talked as though accepting Christ was an idea we all came up with.

I realize he may not believe exactly what I believe, but he just put too much of this on us... and the death on the cross rather than the life we gained. I was like, dude, you are alive... isn't that cooler than dwelling on death? He was a very happy sorta guy though...

On a side note sort of pertaining to what I just wrote, when did accepting Christ become a prayer? Like the "sinner's payer" I guess it is called? And does anyone truly believe we are fully forgiven (like past, present, future)? I mean, if God said he forgave all sins... why would "all" just pertain to past and present?

On a side note, I feel like I've been getting superficial. I already know that I don't let people get close to me anymore out of fear, but now I seem to "prattle on" or feel like I have to say something or I won't be ok. I've been reading a book written by my good friend's mom. It is really changing the way I think about a lot of things. Small things and big things. I really like it. And the neat thing is that she is just telling her story, but so much of who this lady is is coming out in it. If I ever aspired to be like someone, or had an inspiration of a Godly woman, it would be this lady. She is like one of those people that has 1000's of kids, but not one of them are her own.

One of my good friends just signed up for the Marines the other day. It is quite disheartening... but I know it won't really hit me till he is gone. And I found out that another of my guy friends (perhaps the closest one I have), is going to Tech next semester. That is going to be so weird. I almost cried in front of him today when he told me that. Both of them were in the same room, so I just had to walk out. Everyone I seem to care about leaves lately. I want to leave too. I just need to know where.

writer of the unwritten