Are you my Plan A?

A few Sundays ago, Mr Frank talked about something that I have wondered all my life… I actually think lots of people wonder about it. Maybe not all in the same way, or about the same things, but I think we all deal with it.

Which one is the right one? What is God’s will? Am I supposed to choose that or this? I think we all wrestle with these questions on some scale.

 Mr. Frank gave an analogy. He said that there are two cars, A Toyota and a Honda. You aren’t sure which one to get. You pray about it, ask God to give you a sign, something, anything. You don’t see anything. Well, the sign is you choosing. Did you catch that? THE SIGN IS YOU CHOOSING. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those that love Him, and are called according to His purpose.” Basically, we just have to pick that Honda or Toyota and go with it… God will use it for His purpose no matter what.

Now, as a second part, if you chose that Honda (plan A), then it breaks down, does that mean that you should have chosen the Toyota in the beginning? No. God had a reason you chose that Honda. Crazy thing to wrap your mind around, hm? It’s like pre-destination and freewill… how do they both work together? Now Toyota becomes your plan B. Plan A and plan B will both have the same result in the end because God works all things together for good… but they will just happen differently.

This does seem like something on a rather small scale considering… but then he gave another example. He said that he has couples come in for pre-marital counseling all the time with the question “Is this person really ‘the one’ God has for me?”

This one is where I struggle. I mean, how do you really know. I thought I knew. Well, I knew I knew. God seemed to confirm it all… But things changed. So, I have to question… God or man’s choice? Was it something I thought God wanted… and it was actually “Plan B”? Or was it Plan A… and the other person let their “Plan B” get in the way? Questions, questions….

Fact... or fiction?

If I were a pirate, I would search for treasure, then every time I found some, I would give it to others,… but I would keep some jewels fro myself… just so that I could watch the sunset through the colors with the jewel close to my eye.

If I were a writer, I would write a novel like Jane Austen, with morals contained in it’s pages like those of Francine Rivers, C.S. Lewis, Dostoevsky, John Eldredge, and

If I ever get married, my love and I would travel the world... and I would visit my child, Zanetti, in Peru first. Or maybe Switzerland first…

If the chance came along one day, and I felt God was leading my heart in the direction of it, I would adopt a child. But, I don’t want to forget about the children here and only think of those in foreign countries.

If I ever had the money (because money seems to be such a valuable thing to people) I would co-crate an inner-state/inner south U.S.A. missions organization… mainly geared towards kids/orphans. I would not start it myself because I am not a leader (nor am I a follower-I’m kinda in the middle) God has not given me the voice to be a leader. No one listens to me J

I don’t like money. If I could live without it, I most certainly would not hesitate to give it all back to whoever had it in the first place. Hm… why can’t I live without it?

I would not mind being a nun (of the Christian sort). I would have to find someone to Vuild me a shapel, tho.

I would like to be surrounding by the mountains of Tennessee, the night sky of Colorado, the weather of Louisiana, and the sand of Florida (mainly because it reminds me of the promise God gave to Abraham- He told him He would make his descendents as numerous as the sands on the shore- have you ever looked at how small a grain of sand is… and then how many grains of sand it takes to cover an inch of beach?)

If I could have a conversation with one person right now, it would be a Workman.

The time I find my self most peaceful is when in a chaotic situation, but knowing God has it. Praying.

One thing I love to do is over analyze things… try to figure them out… I think that is one reason my relationship with God is so neat… He is the one thing I will never be able to “figure out.” And boy does He know it J

If my parents didn’t have cable, I would never watch TV (I don’t like cable)

I love to read. I think it expands my vocabulary, and prompts me to look at things for different points of view. I do wish I would pick up a book more often.

I try to be a busy body. If I always seem to being doing something, it is usually because I am trying to keep my mind off of something.

I love songs with deep lyrics. Usually, if it is a silly song, I won’t buy it. If the lyrics don’t relate to me, or I find them intriguing, don’t care how popular the song is, I won’t buy it.

My new favorite color is purple. Deep purple to be more precise.

I love music boxes… I want to start a collection of them.

I would like to put all of my poems into one book before the summer is over. How will I do this? I don’t know.

I do not like how untidy and packrattish my entire family is. It drives me in sane. My house will be the cleanest house you have ever seen… not because I am constantly cleaning it, however, but because I won’t have junk from floor to ceiling. My kitchen and bathrooms will be the cleanest places.

My mom doesn’t like the color yellow. My dad loves it. When I got my own room, I decided I wanted to paint my walls yellow. I can’t say why I wanted this, I just did. It wasn’t to go against something my mom didn’t like. I love waking up to the yellow. I can’t put into words how much it reminds me of God. It reminds me of His love that warms me and surrounds me… like the sun that wake me each morning… it sneaks through the cracks in my windows, and bounces its color of off the walls. I think if God had a favorite color, it would be yellow.

I don't like yelling at my kindergartners. They have a bunch of rules at Parkview, and because of these, I feel like all I do is fuss at them. I have to admit, my favorite kids are the quiet ones that talk to no one. I talk with them and play with them (and maybe tickle them, too) till they talk to me. Kids are a lot of work. I didn't realize just how much till May 28th... when I started summer daycamp. I am not ready for kids... and I'm not afraid to admit it. Don't get me wrong, though. I do want kids. Just not now. 

I love to listen to people. It is one of my favorite things. It opens you to new ideas, and I feel like... well, I don't know how to explain it. God just places a real love for the person on my heart and a longing to understand their lives and give them wisdom from Him, or just sit back and listen. I love to listen.

One of the strangest feelings I have felt up till now is the lose of friendship. It has to be my least favorite thing to experience in the entire world. In the past two (maybe 3) years, I have "lost" ( well, I still know them, but our friendships are nothing like they used-to be) 3 friends. Two girls, one guy. I don't have one "best friend," but those three were definitely three that I would have considered three of my closest friends. I guess that would be my biggest fear in life. Losing friendship... and maybe change comes next in line.

anyways... these are just random things about me... not all that interesting... but that's me :) 

Pushing, pulling, and tugging with your eyes on the wrong target

She thrusts her right shoulder forward.

Her body is in an awkward position, she is standing at an angle, trying to pull and tug her feet behind, but one won’t budge. 

Her shoulders have become muscular from all of the thrusting, but this doesn’t seem to be helping her. As she thrusts, she pulls and tugs… and the only gain from this thrust seems to be pain in her limbs and sweat on her brow. The only reward: larger muscles… maybe she will get it next time.

She then thrusts her left shoulder (you can see the defining muscle lines through her shirt… not natural for a girl) forward… but not before pulling her left foot (the one that isn’t stuck) closer to her body in hope of getting a better grip. Her right leg is still stuck in this hole… and she can’t seem to get it out.

She continues to thrust, tries to rethink her motions: maybe if she got on all fours and pulled away with her arms since they had gotten stronger, she could pull her foot loose. Her right leg is the strongest. That is the one she needs free. Maybe if she would just sweat enough, her ankle would loosen, and she could be free.

Looking at her, you wouldn’t think that she realizes that she can so easily call on God for His strength to pull her out. After all, that is how she got the left foot released in the first place: through Godly encouragement and counsel, by seeking Him. You want to shake her and ask her why she is wasting her time trying to pull this last foot out by herself, when God can so easily release it. He is such a patient God, and quite the gentleman. She still wants to do it herself, though. It is going to take her a long time, but sometimes God needs us in a state of complete brokenness so that we come to the conclusion (beyond the shadow of a doubt) that only He can restore us.